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Ooky Spooky Raven
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I’m here to be an ethereal being born of the light spectrum, and eat noodles.
And I’m all out of noodles. (Please give me noodles)
" ye "
- where did this come from and why can’t I stop saying it (via alphaidiot)

(Source: mildshota)

disloyals:

ordering pizza online is the best technological advancement since the internet itself

friend: what do you call em?
me: huh? call what?
friend: bandit squirrels
me: excuse me?
friend: you know bandit squirrels with the mask
me: .... a raccoon?
friend: YEAH THOSE

lousymouse:

I just thought of starting a job hunting company called Job-a the Hunt.

inkskinned:

it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldn’t tip

anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free

and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her

and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didn’t want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said “she’s been a good waitress, though,” he said, “but just plain good isn’t worth 15%”

tic-tac-bergerac:

ecoprudefemme:

american-ruby:

  • is heteronormative
  • excludes males
  • disrespects rape survivors
  • objectifies females
  • reduces women to how men perceive them sexually
  • erases female sexuality
  • reinforces oppressive ideals of femininity and masculinity
  • in itself, doesn’t even make sense
  • reduce sex to male penetration
  • weaponize penetration as a depreciation against women
  • is outdated
  • is used to control the actions of women
  • is cissexist
  • is
  • fucking
  • stupid

(Source: femminista-fatale)

thespacegoat:

straight girls tho, do you ever get confused by your sexuality because not only do men suck but also like 90% of women are fucking bombshells and only like 20% of men are like most chicks could pass for models and most men could pass for bridge trolls i mean wow

This used to be me until one day I did some shrooms and thought about how rad women are and long story short, now I’m pansexual.

onthesideoftheotters:

shotadreams:

mage-of-katnep:

rainbowsfireworks:

confusedtree:

ollivander:

lampghost:

[sleep-over voice] are you awake

[sleep-over reply voice] yeah

[regrettable sleepover invitee voice] you guys SHH

[confused sleep-over voice] what is the meaning of life

[annoyed sleep-over voice] dude shut up

[sleep-over host voice] you guys be quiet my moms gonna hear us

[unknown voice] you kids wanna buy some drugs

thanosisabutt:

Steve Rogers says a witty one liner, but doesn’t have a plane to jump out of. He begins to sweat nervously as he did not plan for this.